Ancestors of the Middle Passage is coming up next Saturday. I'm looking forward to being there on the boardwalk. I'm gonna miss my Mom, Emerial Jean Williams-Bashien, sitting on the board walk with me.  I just wish I could turn back time, and erase cancer from any part of her body, just so we could spend more time together. 

"Ain't nobody like your Momma," she always used to say that. She was right too. I can't speak to anyone else the same way I spoke to her.  There were times when I thought she wasn't listening, but she was always listening, no matter how annoying I was. She had no problem letting me know when I was being a pain in the a**.  We had our times where we would just explode at one another for many reasons, but now...I've gotta pour a cup of water, rum or wine by her ashes, wait for the liquid to evaporate, to just imagine she's taking a sip to quench her thirst.  I miss you Mom, and I wish you were here to actually take a little sip of wine with me. This shit is so fucking wack!!! I hate that you're gone!! June 1,  2013 you would have turned 76!! I was gonna take you to Saigon Grill again...completely lost on Mother's day, I didn't even know what to do with myself. I still cant save money well, and shit is just crazy. Greg still gets on my nerves, but I still love his mixed up self...what am I gonna do Mom? I feel like a big chunk is missing, a big chunk of my life is missing, and it's you.  I will go on, as I'm supposed to because I know that's what you would have told me to do. I have to just keep pushing, keep moving, keep on going, until I can't no more.  I wish you were here with me mom. I'm scared that I'm gonna keep fucking up money and end up in a fucking shelter or something.  I'm gonna keep hoping and praying that "the man upstairs," will help me out. "Let's see," as you would say.