more pictures of ancestors of the middle passage celebration

I thought that I'd put up some more pics of that celebration because it's better to put up more interesting things than it is to continuously put up sad 'shish' about the ex-husband. Also, I forgot to mention that we at the beach were honored to be blessed by Sister Carol's presence. She said a few words about love, black people and love, 'educatin' the youth dem' about dere culcha', and well you know... 'RastafarI' was thrown in her poetry, of course. She is one of the greatest!! One Love.

Meadger Evers College and the 18th annual Ancestors of the Middle passage tribute/memorial/celebration

I just happened to come across this affair last year when I went to Coney Island with my daughter as we do every summer. I made it a point to attend this year, so it definitely wasn't an accident! I think that it is a wonderful tribute to the African Ancestors who jumped off of slaves ships to avoid slavery when they were forced out of their homelands. There is African dancing at this ceremony with lots of drum playing, lots of people with loced hair, lots of Yoruba and Santeria worshippers appear to attend as well. It is a wonderful event. It is a very significant part of history for African Americans to pay tribute to our ancestors. It is sad that it has been only eighteen years that this have been going on. Fortunately, they children that attend the event with their parents will be the next generation to keep the event going. One Love.

time to get over it, right? still tryin' to heal though

I still think about him everyday. I still wish that I could run into his best friend, Papa and ask him if he knew that Youssouf had planned to leave me from the beginning. He changed so suddenly. I was always a bit leary of his plans. I just didn't want to face the fact that this man who told me that we'd have a future together, this man who told me that I was his life; "you are my life", he used to say that looking straight into my eyes without blinking. I just don't understand why this is still so painful for me. I have cried my eyes out over this situation a countless number of times to the point where it became hard for me to breathe. I was crying like that when we were together because things never seemed right. He never took me out, only once in a blue moon. He took me out for my birthday once, for the entire three years that we were married. OK, OK...let me just sign out, I can't keep doing this to myself. It just feels good to write it down, just let it out, in a way.

Update

Does anybody read this stuff? I guess I don't have many interesting things going on right now. I'm back in school again. That may be a mistake. I just don't know about perserverance anymore. I'm tired, and that job has me so worn out. All I want to do when I get home is kick back. I still haven't gone to a day spa. I'd love to get a microdermabrasion facial, get my eyebrows threaded, and a total body massage. My neck is killing me!! I'm feeling better about the Youssouf situation. He called me a few week ago from a private number. A private number!! I don't know what he expected me to say to him. I told him go straight to hell!!

I don't need that headache anymore.

'Zup?

Still hurtin'. Although, I'm feeling a bit better. Time just has to keep moving on for the pain to disappear. It's cool though. He's gone, I guess he got his green card by now. I spoke to a lawyer who gave me a free consultation over the phone and he told me that my husband, well ex-husband has probably already filed for a divorce from me without my knowledge in perhaps, another state. I didn't know that someone could do that. Anyway, Thank you,
Youssouf Sangare. Thank you for reminding me that my life will be better w/o you and I hope that God will open your eyes to help you understand that it's not all about you. Remember this though, "What Goes Around, Comes Around". Jah Bless.

Christmas

Christmas is a time of year for joy and expressions of joy. My husband left me, I'm trying to get over him. One day at a time.

I guess deep down, I knew he was going to leave me because he never really seemed to act interested anymore. He always seemed bored or just plain disgusted with me. I wish that I could have read his thoughts. Anyway, let me just stop the crying and keep trying to move on.

The new year is up in a few days. Let's see what you've got. A new bag of hope, I hope. A new bag of unconditional love, maybe.

a new position

I told you I'd be back!!! Do you care? Maybe not, but that's cool. I was just sitting here thinking about rocking this crown. I've rocked it to an interview at a position for a make-up clerk with estee lauder (the most non-loc wearing place a sistah like me could work). Anyway, I was bright and shiny, I had on a black suit, professional to the m************ tee!! Hey, it's my crown. I felt like wearing it to the interview and so I did. I'm not going to blame the hair style on my reason for not getting the position, but I honestly don't want to sell estee lauder and the interviewer probably sensed that.

I still don't think estee lauder is ready for such nappy crowns though. It's cool though. They probably did me a huge favor.

That's all I feel like talking about today. Why? That's all I have to say, that's why? I'll holla soon. Peace.