Better Job, Better Opportunities

This is better. No more brown trucks. I'm so glad that I left that place. I feel better although I will be paying student loans until death...it's still all good. I actually like my new job...I still have to get past the newbie feeling, but now I'm actually home with my daughter more...I can cook more often for her, spend time, help her with her homework. That midnight shift crap is over. All praises to the Most High!! Bless Up and More Love!!

20th annual ancestors of the middle passage -- I missed it!

Damn!!! I missed the ancestors of the middle passage ceremony for this year (20th annual). I have to remember to keep in mind each year that the ceremony is always around the same time of the Puerto Rican Day parade (the day before, I think). Anyway, it's always on the same weekend as the PRDP. How I forgot that, I don't even know. So upset with myself because I could have taken some really nice pictures. Next year, Jah willing, I'll be there.

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year All!! Time for new beginnings. Just had another birthday. Not Old, just better, more understanding, working on tolerance and always remaining Thankful and humble to the divine, almighty, the creator, whatever you want to call our great wonder...the one we look up to in the sky for guidance. You know?

Listen. It's easy to listen, but you have to HEAR with everything else. Don't pretend to know everything because none of us really do. Every one is always saying, "yeah, yeah...I know, I know." In reality we don't know much, no matter how much shit you've memorized or learned in school. Everyday there's a new lesson to learn. Take the time out to listen to others because you never know what you might learn. The message today..."Shut the hell up and LISTEN!!! More Love and Many Blessings in the name of the most high.

The 19th Annual Ancestors of the Middle Passage on Coney Island

Hi All!! I went to the Ancestors of the Middle Passage tribute again this year and this time I took more pics than before. I have attended with my daughter the last two tributes, and this is the first time that I was able to stay for the last part of the tribute and I have to say that it was very uplifting. There were very talented poets and African drumming and it was just a beautiful day. My daughter missed out because she is growing up and decided that hanging out with Mommy is no longer her thing, but I regret to say that she missed out on a truly, marvelous day. My Mom went with me and it was her first time attending this tribute and she expressed her joy and told me that she'd like to attend with me again next year. We had a beautiful day filled with togetherness with other folks with links to the African Diaspora and we bonded even more than than we have been already. What else can I say -- It was a beautiful day!! Seconds before the tribute ended there was a serious thunder shower but that did absolutely NOTHING to dampen the spirit of a very wonderful afternoon. One Blessed Love. Enjoy the pics. Bless.

I wonder about him. Not the ex, but my old boyfriend.

Committment. What is the deal? I did something bad a while ago. I left him because I wanted more of his time. Turns out, I left him for someone who wasn't worth my time. Then what did I do? I went and married a West African who also wasn't worth my time, but HE made me feel as though I was not worth HIS time. Well...the past is the past, he acquired his green card and I haven't seen him since. Good riddance!!! It took a while for me to get over, but it turned out for the best. He did me a HUGE favor. I Thank JAH each and everyday for the blessings that I have. I have a wonderful daughter, I have a loving mother who he's given me the opportunity to be the best of friends with and I still have my health. Praise JAH!!

Now back to the committment thing. My man of eight years, yes eight years...he has been my boyfriend for so many years and I was still seeing him while I was married. Sounds bad right? Well...It was for a reason. When I got married the the West African, we didn't live together. Sounds like trouble from the start right? Well it was. He said that he couldn't afford a place. I definitely could not afford one on my salary, so I just waited and tried to save money, but it didn't look like he was saving any of his. I should have known that he was never really planning to stay the long haul with me. I just stayed in denial. My mom told me about this brotha'...She said..."be careful...I don't trust that n****!!!" I kept saying that she was wrong about him while I was still living in her house. She was right all along.

Anyway, how can I expect the real love of my life to trust me anymore when I left him twice? Let's get to why I left him in the first place. He never seemed to really want to committ. In the past, whenever I'd bring up the subject of US and the future...there was always some story. After all of these years and changes we've been through...still the same s**t!! There is so much more to this dilema, I just can't put it ALL down. It's complicated and so is my old boyfriend.

I'm not a floosy...I'm just woozy and exhausted from my thoughts, my job, my bad career choices, my classes, too many bosses at the job...everyday shish!!! Now I'm just writing about shish that makes no sense at all. Let me just close this.

Wait...Can you relate? Have you ever loved and cried so hard it felt like you couldn't breathe? I can't cry over brotha's any more. I can't. I think it's a good thing because that shit will make you crazy. Love and it's tribulations will make you a crazy ass and crazy doesn't live with me anymore. Good night and Jah Bless!!

Happy New Year!!

Time for so many changes. I want to free myself from this job because basically there is no chance for promotion; unless you are an a**hole with something (nothing really) to prove, or an a** kisser. In explanation from newly promoted individuals, they fit the above profile. When upper-management fit the same characteristics, the cycle continues to repeat itself, and can you say FAVORITISM?

I will be applying for a divorce this year; just waiting to file my income taxes so that I can pay a lawyer. I want to erase that SANGARE from my life. So weird how I have to do that, seeing as how I never really KNEW my husband the way that a wife is supposed to know her husband. I still think of him from time to time, but I've finally gotten over him, realizing that he never loved me to begin with. I am now OKAY with that fact.

more pictures of ancestors of the middle passage celebration

I thought that I'd put up some more pics of that celebration because it's better to put up more interesting things than it is to continuously put up sad 'shish' about the ex-husband. Also, I forgot to mention that we at the beach were honored to be blessed by Sister Carol's presence. She said a few words about love, black people and love, 'educatin' the youth dem' about dere culcha', and well you know... 'RastafarI' was thrown in her poetry, of course. She is one of the greatest!! One Love.