3 knocks at 3 am -- a little story time for you

 Are you spooked by little things that go bump in the night?  Maybe don't be petrified.  I'm not Haitian, but ever since I visited a Voudou fete a few years ago (about two or three years ago), I've had weird dreams before attending the event and now way after that.  Long story short, It wasn't just the fete.  I've ALWAYS had some sort of attachment with the spirit world.  When I talk about the fete, I don't think it was just the people that attended the event.  I think (no, I believe) there's MORE to it than that.  No matter what anyone says, there is a connection I have somehow, some way to certain esoteric stuff.  I've always been drawn to something. Even as a child.  You could as my "aunt" Jenny, if she was still alive.  She would tell you.  I used to see a beautiful black man dressed in all white, standing in her storage space.  She lived in a basement type apartment back in Newark.  It was spooky down in the apartment to begin with.  I wasn't never scared though, because my "aunt" Jenny ALWAYS took care of me like I was her own daughter.  She loved me and Keetee just like we were her kids.  You would of thought she gave birth to us both.  Now, I keep typing "aunt" like this because she wasn't really my Aunt, but she was still very much my family.  She was my Dad's girlfriend before he met my Mom.  My Mom was okay with that because she didn't get jealous.  She use to let "aunt" Jenny baby sit us for special weekends. 

Back to the subject about things that go bump in the night.  Last night, well this morning at 3:30am I heard THREE knocks on my bedroom door and those knocks were clear sounding as water beating on a tin roof.  "Tock, Tock, Tock." I got up and was like "Sky."  I thought it was my Daughter knocking on my bedroom door.  I opened the door and wasn't nobody there but the cat Beyonce.  (Yes. that is her real name).  I asked my boyfriend if he heard some knocking on the door and he said "no one was knocking on the door
Mami."  "Please to don't start acting crasy."  He has an accent.  Anyway, before I went to sleep, I was watching this YouTube channel of a lady called African Tigress. She was visiting Bwa Caiman. Come to find out, not only is it the ceremony that the Haitians performed prior to freeing themselves from slavery On the night of August 14, 1791, it is also an actual place in Haiti. The tigress was interviewing some folks and she went in to a few ritual rooms at the location and there were drawings on the walls of different loa (haitian spirits).  One that stood out prevently to me was Bawon Samedi.  This drawing was too loud in my mind before I went to sleep.  I went to sleep so nice and peacefully prior to the three knocks on my bedroom door. "Tock, Tock, Tock." Three rapid and loud knocks.  I ain't fucking crazy.  I know what I heard.  I went to the bathroom after I saw no one was there.  When I went back to sleep, which wasn't easy for me to do afterwards, I DID eventually fall back to sleep and had the weirdest dream about a really pretty lady with a nice weave who was dressed in black and purple and her outfit had specks of white in it.  I was in some apartment with her and she was about to kill me.  She has TWO curved swords in her and and said to me that "the time has come."  I was like no the time has not, and I started climbing out the window from the apartment on some tv cable wires.  You know how dreams switch up when you're in one place and then you suddenly end up in another.  Once I climbed out that window, I ended up some where else with some people scattered around me, like in a fete. All there out in the open with nothing to protect me.  That's how it felt when I went to that fancy Voudou fete I attended a few years ago.  I was around a bunch of folks I didn't know, who probably were a bit "shady" in the first place.  Anyway, that's another story.  The place I ended up in, in the dream was weird and somehow, that pretty lady with the nice weave still wanted to kill me for no damned reason.  Suddenly, I woke up.  I thought my boyfriend said something and he said, "babe please, don't start to acting crasy."  

I guess I won't be attending the next fete that is coming up this Saturday (fete Erzili).  I really wanted to go, but I don't want to pay $107 or VIP price $157 to go.  It's fancy and a bit pricey.  That's not even the main problem.  The bigger problem is some of the folks who attend aren't too friendly.  It's a certain vibe that can be felt and it's a vibe that gives the impression, "you're welcome but you're not really welcomed." I'll save my money and my time. Thank you. 

Consistency

 Yeah. Consistency is key but you gotta make the time to be in that place, doing that thing, go make it happen. 

BigMelRuns when I FEEL like!! You see what the name of this blog is right?

Note to self

Me and the run squad!! We run this. Nice girls. My favorite part of our Saturday runs is the discussions we have. Running is good for the soul, the stress, and the heart. Bless up to my girls!! One Love and More Love and More exercise.

 

Note to self:  Great friendships are built around acceptance, love, positive vibes and loads of laughter!!

Ancestors of the Middle Passage Celebration 2016 -- Never forget the Ancestors!!

Ancestors of the Middle Passage was fun this year. June 2016. My former Co-worker joined me and she really enjoyed herself.  Very cool person to hang out with and it was a cool day, although the sun was beaming.  That's what summer is supposed to be like.  Still missed my Momma though.  Her spirit was with me, no doubt about that.

First Half Marathon Evah!!!! Did it!!

It's been over two months ago, almost three!! May 21, 2016, I'll never forget. Such a fun day.

Wogger/Runner/Walker

Call it whatever you want. I've been "running" for almost a year now and I actually like it.  My best friend "put me on to the running fever."  I still haven't caught "that runner's high," only because I still run/walk or "wog."  I still love it and I love the feeling of finishing a little three or four mile run.  I still feel like I'm dying when I do a 10k run, although as a beginner I did my first half marathon -- The Brookly Air BnB Half marathon!!  It took me 3:36:10, yeah that's slow as hell, but you know what?  I finished it and I have to t-shirt and medal to prove it.  I "wogged," ran, and still made it.  It was a great feeling to finish that.  Love me some Brooklyn!  Let's see how I do on my next half marathon in October.  Hope I feel that "runner's high" one of these days.  We'll see. 

This is last year at one of the third events I ever entered. NYRR Dash to the Finish 5K 2015.

This was fun!! I do it because I like it!!

Ancestors of the Middle Passage is coming up next Saturday. I'm looking forward to being there on the boardwalk. I'm gonna miss my Mom, Emerial Jean Williams-Bashien, sitting on the board walk with me.  I just wish I could turn back time, and erase cancer from any part of her body, just so we could spend more time together. 

"Ain't nobody like your Momma," she always used to say that. She was right too. I can't speak to anyone else the same way I spoke to her.  There were times when I thought she wasn't listening, but she was always listening, no matter how annoying I was. She had no problem letting me know when I was being a pain in the a**.  We had our times where we would just explode at one another for many reasons, but now...I've gotta pour a cup of water, rum or wine by her ashes, wait for the liquid to evaporate, to just imagine she's taking a sip to quench her thirst.  I miss you Mom, and I wish you were here to actually take a little sip of wine with me. This shit is so fucking wack!!! I hate that you're gone!! June 1,  2013 you would have turned 76!! I was gonna take you to Saigon Grill again...completely lost on Mother's day, I didn't even know what to do with myself. I still cant save money well, and shit is just crazy. Greg still gets on my nerves, but I still love his mixed up self...what am I gonna do Mom? I feel like a big chunk is missing, a big chunk of my life is missing, and it's you.  I will go on, as I'm supposed to because I know that's what you would have told me to do. I have to just keep pushing, keep moving, keep on going, until I can't no more.  I wish you were here with me mom. I'm scared that I'm gonna keep fucking up money and end up in a fucking shelter or something.  I'm gonna keep hoping and praying that "the man upstairs," will help me out. "Let's see," as you would say.